I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
