put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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