My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
