CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
