After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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