Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I need to align my fucking chakras
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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