he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
