Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
