Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
