Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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