My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
