Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The Olympian is in my bed
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
