what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
