I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
