I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
