he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
