She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
