Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I smell like Dick and happiness
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize