The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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