Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
did i just pee glitter
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
