I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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