So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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