Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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