Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think my nap took me to another dimension
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize