it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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