White coat. Heels.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
