You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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