But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i will never coherently bang her
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
