laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
