I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
