garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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