I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
