good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
