the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
