he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
