i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
try to milk me bitch
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
