Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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