where am i from again
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
