I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
