PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize