I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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