btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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