Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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