If i come over, it means nothing
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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