Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
