the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
