Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
