dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
