i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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