She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
