...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
