i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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