what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
