just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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