is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
