Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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