You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
