Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
