You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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