either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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