I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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