is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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