I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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