my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
