I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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