It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize
